My 9:00am client was telling me how cute her son was at a very young age. “He was so independent! We all thought it was so cute the way he bossed everyone around!” They don’t think he is so cute now that he’s sixteen and still won’t do what his parents tell him to do. “He’s disrespectful and he doesn’t appreciate anything we do for him!!”
I recommended that they use “real world consequences”.
For example, he doesn’t see any reason to aim for A’s and B’s on his report card (even though he is very intelligent). I suggested that he live the life of someone who makes C’s and F’s; someone who does not go to college. The real world consequence would be that he can’t afford a cell phone, the X-box system with games, access to a car, and money to eat out with his girlfriend at O’Charley’s on the weekend. Oh, by the way, he doesn’t have a job. He won’t get a job. His parents give him all the money he needs for fun and they pay car insurance so he can drive.
His mother doesn’t want him to be unhappy. Yet, when I have talked to him separately, he complains about her yelling at him or her lectures. I have suggested to mom that she stop with the lecturing already! He knows what she has to say. He’s not dumb. She wants him to agree with her. It’s not gonna happen! He wants what he wants! And he usually gets it. (Either mom or dad make his lunch to take to school every evening for the next day.) He has NO chores! He’s 16. What do you think the real ‘real-life consequences’ are going to be?
One Response to “Parenting Tips: Real-World Consequences”
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Susie, Congratulations on your new blog. You are off to a great start. Aaron did a beautiful job with your design. Once you get your “about” page completed, I’ll do a post on my blog about yours and send you a trackback. You do not need to know what a trackback is; it will be self explanatory when you see it. There are some fabulous authors out there whom you will enjoy and who need to know about you! I hope you will continue to enjoy blogging as much as I do. Diana