To my current and future clients: I will continue to stress the following 7 life truths. Once you have mastered these truths, you will be able to get unstuck and move to your greatest potential. My Friday writings will address these 7 truths. Watch for them.
You are who you think you are
You can’t change other people, only your reaction to them.
No one ‘makes’ you feel. You choose your own feelings.
Just because someone doesn’t want to be your boy/girl friend doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. You two are just not a good fit.
You make your own reality.
You can be/do whatever you set your mind to.
You really can’t love others until you love and care for yourself.
For parents of young adults: Get a life! And get out of theirs.
Any questions?
Fulfillment and Finances are taking center stage as the focus of Baby Boomers who are reaching “retirement age”. Ask yourself or someone who might be in this stage in life, the following questions.
· How do I want to spend the next 20 or 30 years of my life?
· What opportunities would I like to pursue?
· Do I even know what I want to do?
· What would be meaningful and fulfilling to me?
If you couldn’t answer any of these questions with clarity, you would be similar to many other baby boomers. Some people have done much thinking about this stage and others, well, not so much! This is such a life affirming time! We can be and do anything we set our intentions on.
Why is it so important to think about this stage in life with vigor? Because
50% of all people who live to 65 will live to 85
That’s a lot of life to live after retirement. This generation is healthier and better educated than previous generations which makes this stage in life one with more possibilities than ever before.
Most people don’t realize that they might have so many bonus years!
So what are people planning to do after they retire? Do they realize how that they have a good chance (well, at least 50% chance) of living twenty years or more past their retirement?
It might be time to consider an Encore Career to go along with the bonus years of health and vigor! It might be time to consider fulfillment rather than 24/7 leisure activities. It might be time to find that well-deserved balance in your life.
Individuals and couples are exploring the questions at a greater rate than ever before.
Why not join them?
Contact: Suzann O’Koon, PhD at suzann@suzannokooncoaching.com or 502.939.2987 OR Gary R. Jay at GaryRJay@aol.com or 585.288.3747
We had dinner with some cousins last night and I was struck by one comment. My cousin’s father has been retired and living in Florida longer than he had worked/owned his retail clothing store! I’m not sure if Cousin Willie knew he would be retired longer than he worked! But that brings up the subject of what to do with all these bonus years that Baby Boomers may experience.
There seems to be a dichotomy in thought for those in the traditional retirement age bracket. On one end of the spectrum are those that say “I want to retire to leisure activities” (they don’t actually say it THAT way but that’s what they mean) and those that say, “I want to continue to have meaningful activities and continue to be contributing and finding fulfillment” (they don’t actually say it THAT way either, but that’s what they mean)! There need not be any judgment either way, but for those that want to find fulfillment in their bonus years, they are needing some guidance. It’s like when you were in high school or college and you didn’t quite know what to do with your life, you often went to a professional to help with the process. Third Age Coaches are the professionals to go to at this stage in life. It really is a new developmental stage. People used to work until they couldn’t anymore and then they died. This Third Age bonus years concept requires transitioning from where you were to where you want to be. People are taking control of these decisions and not letting circumstances dictate “what’s next”. People of all levels of economic stability are making choices that are fulfilling their deepest desires and creativity. They are becoming the person they really want to be rather than going into a certain line of work or profession for the economics of it needed for raising children, building homes, and supporting families. Now is the time in their lives to be fully themselves. But figuring that out is a process that involves insight and honesty.
A common discussion among people my age, is when to retire. The traditional notion of retirement is being rewired! In fact, “In 1985, 18 percent of all 65- to 69-year-olds were still working. In 2005, 29 percent were still on the job, and the trend continues.” http://career-advice.monster.com/careersat50/older-workers/How-Old-Is-Too-Old/home.aspx.
More and more you hear someone say, “Retirement is boring. I don’t want to give up life!”
The problem is often about how to change from what you have been doing to what you WANT to do. That’s not as easy as it sounds. The answer to “What are the options?”, is not a cookie-cutter design. It is an individualized process, just like the rest of your life has been. Working in a facilitated group or in individual sessions with a Third Age Coach is becoming more and more popular. Figuring out how to stay in the working world, in a way that is appealing to you, IS possible. It will take sustained attention to the process. It won’t just fall out of the sky and into your lap.
You’re not too old to stay in the working world. Figure how to make it work for you.
When a term appears in the publication world that really says it all, I stand up and listen. That is what happened when I read about “Grey Divorce”. According to Deidre Bair, author of Calling it Quits: Late-Life Divorce and Starting Over, this term is very appropriate. The author reports:
The catalysts are as varied and complicated for older couples as they are for anyone else. But Ms. Bair did find that one common motivator was simply the steady buildup of the same kind of behavior over a long period of time until one day, one of the partners snaps.
Ms. Bair spoke to a woman who was getting ready for Passover when she realized her marriage was over. “As she put it, she was up to her elbows in chopped chicken liver. She needed a spatula she couldn’t reach and she asked her husband to get it for her, and he yelled at her to be quiet because he was watching television. And she said ‘that’s it.’ There are these little things that push people over the edge.”
I’ve included the link to the complete article from the Financial Post, published April 5, 2008, as a starting point for more discussion about Grey Divorce. What applies at 60 in this article can be applied downward…say to 50…my own age of calling it quits.
http://www.nationalpost.com/todays_paper/story.html?id=423205
Baby Boomer couples have their own set of decisions to make. Often, it is the one who has worked the longest (likely the husband) who is ready to retire. Women who may have been out of the workforce while raising children, or who didn’t enter the workforce until mid-life for other reasons, may see retirement as a far-off option!
My colleague and I are surveying other life coaches who work with baby boomers and our own clients to get a picture of what the current concerns are in baby-boomer couples. If you have some thoughts about choices for baby-boomer couples, feel free to share with me. I’ll post the survey when we complete it.
Wow! We’ve begun our new business! With nine participants, my new partner, Ann Huttner, and I held our first workshop. The feedback was wonderful! People in their middle-age have begun to not only look at the money they need for retirement, but HOW they want to live their lives. This process is so important. It lets people see that they can focus their lives around what is really important to them and not just what kind of money they will have!
It’s so exciting. I want people to know about Prime Time Life Planning. Let’s spread the word! I’ll have more on this subject soon.
We are igniting a revolution to reinvent America! So says Bill Novelli, Ceo of AARP. Baby Boomers will not go quietly into retirement. In fact, retirement as it has been known will be changing for many people. There are those of us who can’t even imagine a day that isn’t purposeful in some way. That’s not to say that all boomers will continue in a working environment. Some will. Some people won’t be able to travel around the world for the next 18 to 30 years. It was not stressed nearly enough when we were first starting out that we would need as much money as we will need after the traditional 30 to 40 years of working full time. Pensions are mostly a thing of the past. Social Security just won’t do it for us. We are living longer and healthier and we just didn’t put enough money away for that many years of not working.
A new need has developed! Life Planning in the Third Age! What’s next in my life! Maybe I don’t have the money to travel all the time, maybe I do. But I want to have a purposeful existence! Help me find my passion! I work with people to figure out what “Lights their fire!” It might be volunteer work; babysitting the grandchildren; working part time in a fabric shop! And so much more. Life is exciting! I’m excited about working with other baby boomers to figure out “What’s Next”!
Baby boomers are becoming entrepreneurs at a tremendous rate. According to CBS The Morning Show, more than a million baby boomers start their own businesses each year. The link to this morning’s segment is: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/04/12/earlyshow/living/money/main2675209.shtml. I’m sure there’s another way of showing this link, but I’ll have to ask A or D how to do that! (A=Aaron; D=David) (Aaron= Aaron Ross, Aaron Ann or Aaron Michael)
I am ready to start my business. I am ready to stop being a mental health professional. I am now a business woman with a product to sell. The public is starting to see the benefit of a personal coach.
I will be starting a group for baby boomers who are ready to talk about their next steps, whether it is to start a business, go back to school, take time to travel, or a combination of next steps. It’s time to help people decide.
I have been distracted by going in way too many directions! I’m getting back on course by focusing on what I think is the best direction for me to go. It’s where my energy is. It’s where the energy of 70 million baby boomers is. What are we going to do with the rest of our lives?!! Our generation, on average, is going to live thirty years longer than our parents’ generation!
We were raised by depression-era parents and we were conditioned to pursue careers that were capable of providing financial security. That’s a wonderful idea for the most part. What was often missing though, was the part about loving your work. So many of us, have worked in careers that were fine, but something was missing. The joy, passion, and/or personal desire related to the work was missing for some of us, but certainly. not all baby boomers!
From another direction, we find baby boomers who are no longer at the top of their game for whatever reason. What are they to do for the next 30 years.
We will be changing the face of work and leisure as we move into what used to be called retirement. We are not retiring. We need to come us with another name for it!
With that said, for those baby boomers who are happily retired, I say, Great! Have fun! There are no rules here! So whatever I might say about finding out about what you want to do for the next 30 years, know that you are fine just the way you are!
